Don't Be a Bad Parent 101

         Baruch Hashem we've finally finished Unit 9! As this unit included so much information, it was difficult to decide on what I should blog about. However, I decided to discuss what we learned about parenting and attachment. 

         Much of what we know about attachment comes from the findings of Bowlby and Ainsworth, who researched the "strange situation". They conducted an experiment to find out the differences in attachment between children and parents. In their experiment, a child was brought into a room with their mother and stranger. Bowlby and Ainsworth looked to see what the child's reaction was when the mother left the room, when the stranger tried to interact with the child, and when the mother came back. 

         The results showed that children who were distressed when the mother left, who avoided the stranger when alone but was friendly when the mother was there, and who was positive and happy when the mother returned were securely attached. Children who showed signs of intense distress when the mother left, who avoided the stranger at all costs, and who resisted contact when the mother returned were seen as ambivalently attached. Infants who showed no signs of distress when the mother left, who played normally with the stranger, and who showed little interest when the mother returned were described as having an avoidant attachment. 

         Along with attachment, we learned about parenting styles. Diana Baumrind discussed the four types of parenting styles and the effects they each could have on children later in life. There is an authoritarian style, a permissive style, and authoritative style, and an un-involved style. An authoritarian parent might be very strict, very demanding and unresponsive to their child's needs. An authoritative parent would be structured, but also loving and caring. They would be consistent and give an explanation for rules. A permissive parent has no structure, no demands, and no rules, but they are very loving and responsive. An un-involved parent would be neglectful, detached, and unloving. 

         With most of these parenting styles, I immediately thought of examples from movies and TV shows that I've seen. For instance, in the movie Yours, Mine, and Ours, two single parents meet each other at a high school reunion and fall in love. However, the father is definitely runs his house authoritarian-style and basically treats his children like marines (basically like in The Sound of Music). The mother, however, is definitely a permissive parent and allows her children to do basically whatever they want. This huge contrast in parenting styles causes problems later on, but eventually they learn to combine their efforts to create and authoritative style. 

         In "One Tree Hill", one the main characters, Brooke Davis, grew up with un-involved parents. They were hardly ever in town and she literally lived alone in a gigantic house (though later she moves in with her best friend Peyton Sawyer). This has a very obvious effect on her, as she is very needy but also extremely defensive at the same time. In later seasons, her mother returns, and Brooke's cold greeting shows how much this type of parenting style can have an effect. Brooke felt what most children with un-involved parents feel: ignored and unimportant.