Dementia

In learning about dementia in Developmental Psychology, I found it interesting how this condition messes with a person's memory and functioning. We humans work in truly strange and fascinating ways. However, even though the idea of dementia can be frightening, another aspect that was not discussed was how caring for a person with dementia can also affect a person. Unfortunately, one of my grandfathers has been going through the stages of dementia for a few years now, and the visible and invisible strains this has put on the family are deep. I decided to look up whether some of the symptoms my family members were experiencing because of this were common, and why they were experiencing them.

One common feeling is guilt, surprisingly. Because a person with dementia may have the tendency to "act out" or repeat things over and over, this behavior can easily attract attention. Many caregivers experience have feelings of embarrassment when the person they are caring for acts in strange ways publicly, and then the caregiver will feel bad about being ashamed of this person, because they can't help their actions. If a persons' dementia goes undiagnosed for a time at the very beginning, other family members may make joking, annoyed, or even mean spirited comments to this person because they are unaware of what is stemming their behavior, and that it is something beyond that person's control. Later on, this can be a source of guilt for family members and caretakers, because of their treatment of the person at an earlier time. A caregiver and family members may also feel guilt if they feel that they are not able to provide the dementia patient with "the best" of care.

Grief is another common feeling. Caregivers and family may experience grief because even though the person has not passed away, they have lost their former self and is not able to interact with others in the way they used to. People might also feel angry and frustrated at having to take care of a person with dementia. This may be because they don't want to have this responsibility, they may not think other people are helping them enough, or that others don't understand what they are going through.

Younger children may also exhibit fear towards a friend or family member with dementia, because of their sudden and unfamiliar behavior. Children who remember what the person with dementia used to be like may freak out that all of a sudden the person may "act out," have mood swings, or not seem to remember recent events. This can be particularly traumatic for a young person because they may not understand what is happening.
Overall, this is a situation that produces a lot of stress and mixed feelings. The best thing to do is to take things one step at a time and be appreciative for what we have.