Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Physical Punishment
While reading about punishment in my lovely psychology book, I remembered a conversation that we had this shabbos at the Perl's house. We talked about parents hitting their children as a form of punishment. Some of us felt that it is okay to hit their own child (maybe not hurt them, just a little hit) in order to punish them. It seems to be that nowadays this type of punishment is not considered normal, but not too long ago it was used by parents and even teachers in school with their students. And, of course, there are those who continue to use this form of punishment today. I read that physical punishment can lead to aggression, depression and low self-esteem, and will not necessarily be successful. If a parent hits their child every time they swear, the child might stop swearing at home but might continue to do so out of their home. This is very interesting to me. It also upsets me. I definitely do not believe in hitting a child because it does not seem like an effective punishment to me. But, I do believe that maybe a little hit could have some sort of positive effect in some cases. Do you think that this form of punishment is effective?
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In some cases, yes, I believe it is one way to get something to stop. In fact, during class today we discussed this and I think we would call it a negative punishment- something negative to get a behavior to stop.
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan of this. I do not think parents should get physical with their children. I know that done occasionally some people think it is a good thing and that it isn't bad for the child.
But it is my own personal belief that a parent should never hit a child. It's not a good example, and i think it also shows a lack of self control. Is your parent so angry that they are going to hit you as punishment rather than use positive punishment or whatever? why can't they take away privileges or lecture them? Hitting is not the way to go...
but to each his own
I agree with Zahava, but I think that the problem is that maybe people over exaggerate and hit their kids too much or too hard. If parents dont misuse the punishment I think it is effective sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI think that there should be no case where it is considered 'okay' to hit a child. It might stop them from swearing but it gives the child a sense of fear. Not only hitting but also yelling is scary and can possibly make the child fear their parent which is a really sad thing. A child should feel comfortable approaching a parent. Also, a child should not stop swearing just because they're scared of their parent. I think that a punishment needs to actually explain to the child why it is bad to swear. (Kind of life authoritative parenting) That way, they will stop because they understand why it is bad. Aviva- you touched on a interesting point: how do we ensure that kids do not continue swearing when they are not with their parents. This is obviously a very difficult challenge for a parent and is probably one of the reasons why it is so scary when children become independent and leave the house more frequently.
ReplyDeleteWhy should there be no case where it is okay to hit a child. If it is done to make the child learn to not to something again, it can be effective. Sometimes, the kids do not see how their parents actually wanted to save and help them even though they did not like what they did to them when they were little.
ReplyDeleteI think that hitting your child will also promote fear and anxiety when around the parents and as you said the behavior will probably still continue just not when the child is around the parents. However, I read something very interesting a few weeks ago. There was this article in people magazine about a school that allowed the teachers to hit the students as punishment for misbehavior. They had to get rid of that system a few years ago because it was considered to be too harsh and unacceptable. The interesting thing is the fact that after some time the students requested that the physical punishment should be brought back since that is the only thing that would really discipline them.
ReplyDeleteWow Carmit, that is kind of crazy! As I said, I really do not believe in physical punishment, but a light hit, not meant to be harmful might train a child not to do something. This also depends on the child's age, and yes, it is difficult to tell if this behavior will continue, regardless of the type of punishment.
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