As I was reading through chapter three in our book, I was intrigued by the section "How Much Credit (or Blame) Do Parents Deserve." Usually when we come across a crazy child, we tend to blame his/her parents for not disciplining their children. However, in reality this is not so accurate. One of the factors that plays into shaping a child's personality is peer influence. Depending on who a child hangs out with, will influence their behavior. This connects back to the drug conversations/posts that we have been having. If a child is around drugs, he is very likely to use drugs! Therefore, who a child is hanging around has a HUGE impact on what the child will become. A quote from the book: "Direct parental influences on smoking are less important than many people suppose. Rather, teens who start smoking typically have friends who model smoking, who suggest its pleasures, and who offer cigarettes." This is why who you hang out with is so crucial. It also explains why there could be a family where there are children who keep shabbos and children who don't. It usually has to do with who their children's friends are.
Take the feather fad for example. Someone comes into school with a feather in their hair, and within two weeks almost half the school has feathers in their hair! It's almost like everything is a competition between peers. We mimic our peers because their 'cool' or because we can't let them 'get ahead of us.' She has one feather in her hair, so I'm going to get five in mine. This can be very dangerous and can ultimately lead to total irrational thoughts.
Just something to think about! :)
It is true that a lot of what you do is because of your friends. I saw this a lot when I was at work this summer. I was with 6 year old girs, and when two girls got feathers in their hair the whole bunk wanted feathers for the next two months, talking about it everyday twice a day.
ReplyDeleteOnce, with a group of people I won't name, I said, "Who does feathers anymore? The latest thing is to get this rough stuff that looks like a zebra's tail, or just zebra hide. Who wants feathers when you can get zebra in your hair." Funnily enough, people started talking about getting zebra in their hair, as ridiculous as that would really be. Indeed, who started this whole feather thing?
But how much does parenting have to do with it. Sometimes our parents can influence us so that even though our friends may be doing something, we don't.
Hopefully people will just learn to do what they know is right and tell people who pressure them to go away...
Alexa you have brought such an excellent example with the feather and i completely agree with you. It is so true for so many other things in our lives as well. We constantly mimic what our friends do- words thy use, their mannerism,their clothing, their likes and dislikes, their opinions, etc. Whenever i think about that i just get very frustrated that friends can have such a big influence on you and even get annoyed that im influenced by it! Nevertheless, i do think that parents play a role as to what extent a child will be influenced. If a child is raised in a secure stable home, he will have high self esteem, a strong self concept and understand what is right and wrong. Therefore,he may avoid the negative effects that our peers may have on us. The child is confident enough to form his own opinions about certain things and decide what he does and doesn't want to do!
ReplyDelete